Never Alone
The lake is located about a 20 minute drive from our home; I do not often go there.
Today I felt that I wanted to walk near the water, and perhaps sit awhile in the quiet of the forest which surrounds this man-made lake. I often did the same thing as a young boy, but of course I didn’t drive, and it wasn’t a lake; it was the Niagara River that flows between Lake Erie and Lake Ontario. I walked to the river; it was only a few minutes away. It seemed at times to draw me close, to sit by the bank and throw stones into the river, or sit and watch fishermen or boats going up and down the river. Once in awhile I would see a huge ship go by. The man-made lake that I was going to visit was not like this at all. But it was peaceful and quiet. And it was usually private. Not many people walked the trail that leads around the lake.
I drove to Lynx Lake and parked my car in a lot that required that I first drop two dollars into a lock box. There were only three other cars in the lot. It was early. Later in the day this parking area will be filled, but I planned to be gone by then. I put on my light backpack and headed for the trail that follows the western side of the lake.
After walking for almost one hour I spotted a place above the trail to stop for a rest. Yes, I am getting older and do not walk as far as I used to. The thought of sitting in the shade with my back against a tall Ponderosa Pine seemed the right thing to do.
I set my small backpack against the tree and sat next to it. The cool water from the bottle I brought with me felt good in my mouth. I wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t take out the small sandwich I brought with me. I leaned back against the tree.
It was a good view of the water; the lake was mirror calm. There were no fishermen, nor any persons in row boats or canoes. Motorized boats are not permitted. I wondered where the occupants of the others cars were; probably hiking around the lake, I thought. I was in a lazy mode of thought; sitting against a pine tree overlooking the water has a way of relaxing a person.
Within minutes I heard faint footsteps. Whoever was on the trail was not wearing soft-sole hiking shoes, as my worn boots have. It was more a clumping, scuffling sound, the noise an older person might make.
Then the thought came that this is a very familiar sound … yes, it was the sound that the walking of my friend Martin might make. I hadn’t seen Martin in 5 years, not since the day I completed my journey of doubt, and came out of the ocean. He was waiting for me on the sandy beach.
Today I am waiting to see who it is walking the trail and making such noise. My heart began to feel anticipation that the person might indeed be my friend Martin. If it is Martin, I wondered what the purpose of his coming to me today might be. I have changed a great deal since we met on the beach 5 years ago. If it is Martin walking toward me, what will he have to say?
I saw him; it is indeed my friend Martin! I did not hesitate. I stood up and walked down the hill to the trail to meet him. He saw me and lifted his arm to wave. I did too, and with a big smile.
This was not like our first meeting on a trail in the mountains outside Tucson. Of course Martin was the same, perhaps the age that I am today. It was on my fiftieth birthday over 25 years ago that we first met. Ever since then Martin has had a way of showing up in my life in very unexpected and unplanned ways, but always at an important place in my spiritual journey. He has never come right out and revealed his true identity. I think he has done this on purpose; I feel that he has waited for me to discover who he is.
Martin was near to me now. This time I did not merely shake his hand; I did this, but I did not hesitate … I also reached out and hugged him. He reciprocated.
“Hello Martin, I am very happy and delighted to see you. I was sitting above the trail, against a tree; will you join me?”
“Yes, yes, of course, Joseph. I don’t expect to remain standing on the trail with you.”
So we walked off the trail and climbed the slope to the tree where I left my backpack.
“Martin, do want a drink of water? I brought an extra bottle.”
“No thank you, Joseph,” he said with a slight smile and twinkle in his eye.
He did not wait for me to speak, but as he sat down he continued, “I think you know why I am here today.”
I did know, or felt that I knew, and as I sat near him I said, “Yes, Martin, I do feel that I know.”
I settled against the tree, and glanced at him and then let my eyes drift to the lake. I began to feel that this was a day of revelation.
Without delay Martin began to speak. “Joseph, as you have surmised, I am your guide. Over the past several years I have chosen this appearance of an old man in order to help you find the course of your journey.
“Long ago, when you were just a boy, I often came to help you. You did not see me as you are seeing me today, but you did sense my presence. When you walked to the river and sat on a rock to watch the boats, I was there, and you felt my presence.
“And when you were in your bedroom in the large home and you felt spooked, so to speak, you sensed my presence but interpreted your feelings as a haunting, though of course you did not use such a word to interpret your experience. Yes, there were other spirits present too, some mischievous and playful, not meaning to harm you but certainly to play with the feelings of a young boy in an attempt to frighten you, and to keep you in a state of fear. Not knowing a better way, many low level spirits think this is their purpose, to keep people in a place of fear. And you know that this is reflected in many religious groups, where fear is used to maintain alignment to a particular doctrine and organizational cohesiveness.
“I was present, Joseph, and did what I could to comfort and strengthen your courage when you were a child. You survived these childhood experiences; do you not feel this is so?”
“Yes, Martin, I do.”
As Martin was speaking about early childhood experiences, I had a feeling come across me that I immediately identified; it was little boy Joey snuggling close to me, taking comfort in Martin’s words.
“Joseph. I have come to you in the form of an older man since you were 50. If I had chosen the figure of a young man, my presence would not have had as much meaning for you. When you were younger you had a fear of older men. You viewed your own father as very old and someone to fear. Have you not realized that you are healed of this fear?”
Again I responded with “Yes.”
“You have had a remarkable journey Joseph. You have experienced change in a way that most other people have not. But please do not think in my saying this that you are special, for you are not. Each individual has his own unique measure of change in his or her lifetime. I could say the same general words to them, but I am not; I am speaking with you.
“I will not take the time to review your wonderful journey. I want you to have good feelings of your life Joseph, for it has all been good. Your experiences and various choices that you have made have all been for the purpose of developing your soul. Do you feel that what I am saying to you is the truth?”
“Well, not always,” I responded slowly. “For I have had many battles of doubt and discouragement, and feelings of failure and low self-esteem that have been horrendous … sometimes loathing myself to the point of wanting to take my own life.”
“Yes, I know this. Do not forget, I was present during these times. But again, you did not take your life. You survived, and you are here today, having this experience with me. Does this not make you feel that your life means more than you have given yourself credit for?”
I replied, “I do want to feel good about myself and my life, but then I stop and limit this desire as not being healthy – thinking that such feelings border on arrogance and conceit.”
“What is the remedy for this Joseph? Is it not to maintain the awareness that you are one of our Father’s wonderful creations? Is it not to look at yourself as one of His children … His beloved child?
“Allow yourself to feel the truth of this. It is not a lie, nor is it conceit or arrogance to feel good about yourself. And the way to do this is to keep in perspective that you are one of His beloved children. You are a child of God, as are we all! And it is alright to feel good about this!”
I started to laugh and to cry at the same time.
“Joseph, it is good that you are feeling the truth of what I am saying to you. When we are finished I suggest you record our conversation, and share it with your readers. Each person who will read the words you will write will feel that what I say is also true about them.
“This is why I have come to you today, Joseph. I am aware of the book that you are writing, and I am aware of the feelings that you have had, of your desire to have me come and speak with you, and have an opportunity for me to give a message to be included in your new book. Be aware, Joseph, that I am doing this now, and in the form of my having come to you as you sat by the lake.
“Consider what I am about to say. If I had come to you in a dream, would people believe your dream? Some perhaps would, but not many. Or if I came to you in a booming voice from heaven, whatever this may mean, do you feel that your readers would be likely to embrace this?
“No. I chose to come to you in the manner I have because your readers will feel comfortable with an old man walking on a trail to come and visit with another old man. They will be amused, but they will listen.
“I want your readers to understand that each human has a guardian spirit similar to what I have been with you. I also want the readers of this book to know that each and everyone of them is a beloved child of God. No matter the situation or the grave circumstances of their life, they are loved and cared for.
“For example, Joseph, do you recall the very dark time in your life when you were in the auto accident in which your wife of only 8 months died? And do you recall when you were in the emergency room of the hospital that you saw this young man, and that he came to your bedside several times to console you with his words? That was me Joseph, that was me – but not in the form of an old man.”
I did remember, and again tears came to my eyes.
“Joseph, you as well as all the readers of this book are loved. You are cared for individually. In your case, had you died at that moment in the hospital 28 years ago, you would have experienced care and love waiting for you in the spirit world. The desire of our Father is that all His children shall know this truth about their life: No one is ever alone. All are His beloved children.
“This one great truth should be indelibly etched deep in the memory of each person on earth – and certainly not just the readers of your book, Joseph. This book will be a help to many, and that is why I have come to you today – to again help you and guide you.
“I feel that I have given you enough today Joseph; I wanted to help this book off to a good start. What I have given you may be best used toward the end, perhaps the last word. You decide how to use it. It is your choice.”
Martin smiled and chuckled when he said the last four words. Then he continued …
“Be encouraged Joseph, and do not faint. Finish the work you feel within you to do. I will be with you, and perhaps I may come again in this form if I see there is need.”
Martin patted my hand and said, “I am your friend, Joseph, and your guide.”
And then in an instant he was gone.
This is the first time that Martin had been as clear as he was today about his identity. And this is the first time that Martin, when he finished speaking with me, disappeared.
* * *
Before I commenced my hike on the trail, I remained alone on the hillside overlooking the lake. Yet, I was not really alone.
No one is ever alone.
_____________________________________
By Joseph Babinsky
Adapted from The Choice, Hardcover Edition, page 129.
Amazon Kindle eBook Edition; click Here
Today I felt that I wanted to walk near the water, and perhaps sit awhile in the quiet of the forest which surrounds this man-made lake. I often did the same thing as a young boy, but of course I didn’t drive, and it wasn’t a lake; it was the Niagara River that flows between Lake Erie and Lake Ontario. I walked to the river; it was only a few minutes away. It seemed at times to draw me close, to sit by the bank and throw stones into the river, or sit and watch fishermen or boats going up and down the river. Once in awhile I would see a huge ship go by. The man-made lake that I was going to visit was not like this at all. But it was peaceful and quiet. And it was usually private. Not many people walked the trail that leads around the lake.
I drove to Lynx Lake and parked my car in a lot that required that I first drop two dollars into a lock box. There were only three other cars in the lot. It was early. Later in the day this parking area will be filled, but I planned to be gone by then. I put on my light backpack and headed for the trail that follows the western side of the lake.
After walking for almost one hour I spotted a place above the trail to stop for a rest. Yes, I am getting older and do not walk as far as I used to. The thought of sitting in the shade with my back against a tall Ponderosa Pine seemed the right thing to do.
I set my small backpack against the tree and sat next to it. The cool water from the bottle I brought with me felt good in my mouth. I wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t take out the small sandwich I brought with me. I leaned back against the tree.
It was a good view of the water; the lake was mirror calm. There were no fishermen, nor any persons in row boats or canoes. Motorized boats are not permitted. I wondered where the occupants of the others cars were; probably hiking around the lake, I thought. I was in a lazy mode of thought; sitting against a pine tree overlooking the water has a way of relaxing a person.
Within minutes I heard faint footsteps. Whoever was on the trail was not wearing soft-sole hiking shoes, as my worn boots have. It was more a clumping, scuffling sound, the noise an older person might make.
Then the thought came that this is a very familiar sound … yes, it was the sound that the walking of my friend Martin might make. I hadn’t seen Martin in 5 years, not since the day I completed my journey of doubt, and came out of the ocean. He was waiting for me on the sandy beach.
Today I am waiting to see who it is walking the trail and making such noise. My heart began to feel anticipation that the person might indeed be my friend Martin. If it is Martin, I wondered what the purpose of his coming to me today might be. I have changed a great deal since we met on the beach 5 years ago. If it is Martin walking toward me, what will he have to say?
I saw him; it is indeed my friend Martin! I did not hesitate. I stood up and walked down the hill to the trail to meet him. He saw me and lifted his arm to wave. I did too, and with a big smile.
This was not like our first meeting on a trail in the mountains outside Tucson. Of course Martin was the same, perhaps the age that I am today. It was on my fiftieth birthday over 25 years ago that we first met. Ever since then Martin has had a way of showing up in my life in very unexpected and unplanned ways, but always at an important place in my spiritual journey. He has never come right out and revealed his true identity. I think he has done this on purpose; I feel that he has waited for me to discover who he is.
Martin was near to me now. This time I did not merely shake his hand; I did this, but I did not hesitate … I also reached out and hugged him. He reciprocated.
“Hello Martin, I am very happy and delighted to see you. I was sitting above the trail, against a tree; will you join me?”
“Yes, yes, of course, Joseph. I don’t expect to remain standing on the trail with you.”
So we walked off the trail and climbed the slope to the tree where I left my backpack.
“Martin, do want a drink of water? I brought an extra bottle.”
“No thank you, Joseph,” he said with a slight smile and twinkle in his eye.
He did not wait for me to speak, but as he sat down he continued, “I think you know why I am here today.”
I did know, or felt that I knew, and as I sat near him I said, “Yes, Martin, I do feel that I know.”
I settled against the tree, and glanced at him and then let my eyes drift to the lake. I began to feel that this was a day of revelation.
Without delay Martin began to speak. “Joseph, as you have surmised, I am your guide. Over the past several years I have chosen this appearance of an old man in order to help you find the course of your journey.
“Long ago, when you were just a boy, I often came to help you. You did not see me as you are seeing me today, but you did sense my presence. When you walked to the river and sat on a rock to watch the boats, I was there, and you felt my presence.
“And when you were in your bedroom in the large home and you felt spooked, so to speak, you sensed my presence but interpreted your feelings as a haunting, though of course you did not use such a word to interpret your experience. Yes, there were other spirits present too, some mischievous and playful, not meaning to harm you but certainly to play with the feelings of a young boy in an attempt to frighten you, and to keep you in a state of fear. Not knowing a better way, many low level spirits think this is their purpose, to keep people in a place of fear. And you know that this is reflected in many religious groups, where fear is used to maintain alignment to a particular doctrine and organizational cohesiveness.
“I was present, Joseph, and did what I could to comfort and strengthen your courage when you were a child. You survived these childhood experiences; do you not feel this is so?”
“Yes, Martin, I do.”
As Martin was speaking about early childhood experiences, I had a feeling come across me that I immediately identified; it was little boy Joey snuggling close to me, taking comfort in Martin’s words.
“Joseph. I have come to you in the form of an older man since you were 50. If I had chosen the figure of a young man, my presence would not have had as much meaning for you. When you were younger you had a fear of older men. You viewed your own father as very old and someone to fear. Have you not realized that you are healed of this fear?”
Again I responded with “Yes.”
“You have had a remarkable journey Joseph. You have experienced change in a way that most other people have not. But please do not think in my saying this that you are special, for you are not. Each individual has his own unique measure of change in his or her lifetime. I could say the same general words to them, but I am not; I am speaking with you.
“I will not take the time to review your wonderful journey. I want you to have good feelings of your life Joseph, for it has all been good. Your experiences and various choices that you have made have all been for the purpose of developing your soul. Do you feel that what I am saying to you is the truth?”
“Well, not always,” I responded slowly. “For I have had many battles of doubt and discouragement, and feelings of failure and low self-esteem that have been horrendous … sometimes loathing myself to the point of wanting to take my own life.”
“Yes, I know this. Do not forget, I was present during these times. But again, you did not take your life. You survived, and you are here today, having this experience with me. Does this not make you feel that your life means more than you have given yourself credit for?”
I replied, “I do want to feel good about myself and my life, but then I stop and limit this desire as not being healthy – thinking that such feelings border on arrogance and conceit.”
“What is the remedy for this Joseph? Is it not to maintain the awareness that you are one of our Father’s wonderful creations? Is it not to look at yourself as one of His children … His beloved child?
“Allow yourself to feel the truth of this. It is not a lie, nor is it conceit or arrogance to feel good about yourself. And the way to do this is to keep in perspective that you are one of His beloved children. You are a child of God, as are we all! And it is alright to feel good about this!”
I started to laugh and to cry at the same time.
“Joseph, it is good that you are feeling the truth of what I am saying to you. When we are finished I suggest you record our conversation, and share it with your readers. Each person who will read the words you will write will feel that what I say is also true about them.
“This is why I have come to you today, Joseph. I am aware of the book that you are writing, and I am aware of the feelings that you have had, of your desire to have me come and speak with you, and have an opportunity for me to give a message to be included in your new book. Be aware, Joseph, that I am doing this now, and in the form of my having come to you as you sat by the lake.
“Consider what I am about to say. If I had come to you in a dream, would people believe your dream? Some perhaps would, but not many. Or if I came to you in a booming voice from heaven, whatever this may mean, do you feel that your readers would be likely to embrace this?
“No. I chose to come to you in the manner I have because your readers will feel comfortable with an old man walking on a trail to come and visit with another old man. They will be amused, but they will listen.
“I want your readers to understand that each human has a guardian spirit similar to what I have been with you. I also want the readers of this book to know that each and everyone of them is a beloved child of God. No matter the situation or the grave circumstances of their life, they are loved and cared for.
“For example, Joseph, do you recall the very dark time in your life when you were in the auto accident in which your wife of only 8 months died? And do you recall when you were in the emergency room of the hospital that you saw this young man, and that he came to your bedside several times to console you with his words? That was me Joseph, that was me – but not in the form of an old man.”
I did remember, and again tears came to my eyes.
“Joseph, you as well as all the readers of this book are loved. You are cared for individually. In your case, had you died at that moment in the hospital 28 years ago, you would have experienced care and love waiting for you in the spirit world. The desire of our Father is that all His children shall know this truth about their life: No one is ever alone. All are His beloved children.
“This one great truth should be indelibly etched deep in the memory of each person on earth – and certainly not just the readers of your book, Joseph. This book will be a help to many, and that is why I have come to you today – to again help you and guide you.
“I feel that I have given you enough today Joseph; I wanted to help this book off to a good start. What I have given you may be best used toward the end, perhaps the last word. You decide how to use it. It is your choice.”
Martin smiled and chuckled when he said the last four words. Then he continued …
“Be encouraged Joseph, and do not faint. Finish the work you feel within you to do. I will be with you, and perhaps I may come again in this form if I see there is need.”
Martin patted my hand and said, “I am your friend, Joseph, and your guide.”
And then in an instant he was gone.
This is the first time that Martin had been as clear as he was today about his identity. And this is the first time that Martin, when he finished speaking with me, disappeared.
* * *
Before I commenced my hike on the trail, I remained alone on the hillside overlooking the lake. Yet, I was not really alone.
No one is ever alone.
_____________________________________
By Joseph Babinsky
Adapted from The Choice, Hardcover Edition, page 129.
Amazon Kindle eBook Edition; click Here
Reading the story Never Alone to my family
On my 77th birthday my family took me to lunch at the Lynx Lake Cafe. After this we went for a walk around the lake, and I took them to a spot close to location where Martin and I had our meeting, and the setting for this story.
I read Never Alone. Our daughter Julia paused in her play along the shore of the lake and took this photo.
I read Never Alone. Our daughter Julia paused in her play along the shore of the lake and took this photo.