THE CENTURION
Chapter One
I stood alongside him. I was on the hillside with him. With my own eyes I saw him hanging on a cross.
Before I begin my story I want you to realize that I idolized the human body. I had to … after all, you see, I am a centurion—a soldier in the Roman army.
If you are like others I have met, you probably made a quick judgment about me when I said that I am a Roman centurion. Please realize that Jesus did not do this. He never judged me. Maybe you will be surprised to hear that I often stood close by while he taught. Well, I did, and I don’t doubt that Jesus saw me standing by and listening to him talk to the people gathered around him.
I remember that one day we met on a small road outside Jerusalem. I was walking in a certain area when he came along. He was alone; all his friends were occupied elsewhere. When I was with him, though I know that we must have talked a very long time, it appeared to me as though only a few moments passed by.
He taught me many things and showed me another world beyond the world I saw and experienced. While he spoke I actually thought I saw this other world that he talked about. For an instant it was as though I was seeing my life in a completely different way. Everything I thought was solid and immoveable appeared like shadows on a wall. But more than all this, I felt a deep love and safety in his presence that I had never experienced my entire life.
After our conversation ended and we parted, my life changed completely.
“How?” you ask. It changed in this way. I really did continue to see my world differently. Sure, I remained a centurion; but I saw that I was changing from the inside. Situations on the outside remained as they were before my private time with Jesus, but I began to see and think differently.
One of the central subjects Jesus and I talked about was the purpose of our experience in this world and, of course, our physical body. I think we talked about this subject because he knew the importance I placed on the strength of the human body and how I considered the power of our Roman army invincible. I was a very strong man; as a soldier I was a warrior feared by many.
During our conversation Jesus told me that he would soon give a public demonstration of his thoughts about the body. He said that I myself would play a prominent role in this demonstration. I asked him to be more specific about this, but he would not elaborate. He said that this demonstration would happen very soon.
The day arrived just as he said that it would. When I saw him nailed to the wooden post, this turned out to be the hardest day of my entire life. I did not know of any reason why he should be condemned like a common criminal. Though I towered over him by at least a full head, I saw strength within him that I had not seen in many of my own soldiers. It was not a physical strength that I experienced in him; it was something inside him.
Jesus was an innocent man; of this I am certain.
Despite the personal beliefs I was developing about Jesus, I was part of the group of soldiers assigned to execute him. This is what made my assignment the hardest I ever had. And I immediately sensed that his execution was the public demonstration he talked to me about in private. He was giving a public demonstration of his thoughts that the body is not our final existence.
In my career as a soldier I have seen many other people tortured and crucified. Every one of them screamed out in pain when the nails were driven into their wrists and feet. But I assure you Jesus was the exception. He did not scream; he did not cry …I heard not even a whimper from his lips. In fact, strange as this may sound to you, he actually turned his head and watched the nails being hammered into his body. It appeared to me he wasn’t feeling anything. When this happened I then remembered how he told me that he did not place any lasting meaning whatsoever in his body. I remembered that he said to me, “I am not my body; I am free.” He also said that death was only a stepping stone to a greater life.
At first I understood this to mean that he was only some sort of ghost. But I saw with my own eyes the nails driven into his wrists and I saw blood flow from the wounds. He was definitely not a ghost. Yet, he did not appear to feel the pain of what my soldiers were doing to his body.
Yes, I am the centurion who stood close by and watched Jesus nailed to the cross.
I must tell you that there were two separate kinds of thoughts running through my mind that day.
Part of me was saying things like, “I hate you, Jesus; I want you to die. I want you to suffer; I want you to be in pain …I can’t stand to see a person like you in our world.”
But there was another side within me that was saying things like, “You really are demonstrating the unreality of this crucifixion. You really aren’t suffering; you really are not in pain. All this is to you is a very bad dream. Do other people see this about you, or am I the only one? What about your close companions and your family …what are they thinking?”
As I stood next to the cross, Jesus looked down at me and looked directly into my eyes. At that moment it was as though our hearts connected.
I heard a quiet voice within me telling me that it was now time to do my part in his demonstration. And without thought as to what I was about to do, I lifted my weapon and with no hesitation I thrust the spear into his side. In an instant I knew without a doubt that Jesus did not die. Oh, his body shuttered and he collapsed on the cross. His body certainly did die, but the spirit that was the real Jesus did not die. Jesus and his body are not the same.
At that moment I knew that his classroom lesson was finished. Jesus merely dropped his body like a person dropping a garment off his shoulder. This part of his demonstration was over. Yet, I was convinced that the real Jesus did not die. My spear and the cross had absolutely no affect on the Love that was present within Jesus.
Before I begin my story I want you to realize that I idolized the human body. I had to … after all, you see, I am a centurion—a soldier in the Roman army.
If you are like others I have met, you probably made a quick judgment about me when I said that I am a Roman centurion. Please realize that Jesus did not do this. He never judged me. Maybe you will be surprised to hear that I often stood close by while he taught. Well, I did, and I don’t doubt that Jesus saw me standing by and listening to him talk to the people gathered around him.
I remember that one day we met on a small road outside Jerusalem. I was walking in a certain area when he came along. He was alone; all his friends were occupied elsewhere. When I was with him, though I know that we must have talked a very long time, it appeared to me as though only a few moments passed by.
He taught me many things and showed me another world beyond the world I saw and experienced. While he spoke I actually thought I saw this other world that he talked about. For an instant it was as though I was seeing my life in a completely different way. Everything I thought was solid and immoveable appeared like shadows on a wall. But more than all this, I felt a deep love and safety in his presence that I had never experienced my entire life.
After our conversation ended and we parted, my life changed completely.
“How?” you ask. It changed in this way. I really did continue to see my world differently. Sure, I remained a centurion; but I saw that I was changing from the inside. Situations on the outside remained as they were before my private time with Jesus, but I began to see and think differently.
One of the central subjects Jesus and I talked about was the purpose of our experience in this world and, of course, our physical body. I think we talked about this subject because he knew the importance I placed on the strength of the human body and how I considered the power of our Roman army invincible. I was a very strong man; as a soldier I was a warrior feared by many.
During our conversation Jesus told me that he would soon give a public demonstration of his thoughts about the body. He said that I myself would play a prominent role in this demonstration. I asked him to be more specific about this, but he would not elaborate. He said that this demonstration would happen very soon.
The day arrived just as he said that it would. When I saw him nailed to the wooden post, this turned out to be the hardest day of my entire life. I did not know of any reason why he should be condemned like a common criminal. Though I towered over him by at least a full head, I saw strength within him that I had not seen in many of my own soldiers. It was not a physical strength that I experienced in him; it was something inside him.
Jesus was an innocent man; of this I am certain.
Despite the personal beliefs I was developing about Jesus, I was part of the group of soldiers assigned to execute him. This is what made my assignment the hardest I ever had. And I immediately sensed that his execution was the public demonstration he talked to me about in private. He was giving a public demonstration of his thoughts that the body is not our final existence.
In my career as a soldier I have seen many other people tortured and crucified. Every one of them screamed out in pain when the nails were driven into their wrists and feet. But I assure you Jesus was the exception. He did not scream; he did not cry …I heard not even a whimper from his lips. In fact, strange as this may sound to you, he actually turned his head and watched the nails being hammered into his body. It appeared to me he wasn’t feeling anything. When this happened I then remembered how he told me that he did not place any lasting meaning whatsoever in his body. I remembered that he said to me, “I am not my body; I am free.” He also said that death was only a stepping stone to a greater life.
At first I understood this to mean that he was only some sort of ghost. But I saw with my own eyes the nails driven into his wrists and I saw blood flow from the wounds. He was definitely not a ghost. Yet, he did not appear to feel the pain of what my soldiers were doing to his body.
Yes, I am the centurion who stood close by and watched Jesus nailed to the cross.
I must tell you that there were two separate kinds of thoughts running through my mind that day.
Part of me was saying things like, “I hate you, Jesus; I want you to die. I want you to suffer; I want you to be in pain …I can’t stand to see a person like you in our world.”
But there was another side within me that was saying things like, “You really are demonstrating the unreality of this crucifixion. You really aren’t suffering; you really are not in pain. All this is to you is a very bad dream. Do other people see this about you, or am I the only one? What about your close companions and your family …what are they thinking?”
As I stood next to the cross, Jesus looked down at me and looked directly into my eyes. At that moment it was as though our hearts connected.
I heard a quiet voice within me telling me that it was now time to do my part in his demonstration. And without thought as to what I was about to do, I lifted my weapon and with no hesitation I thrust the spear into his side. In an instant I knew without a doubt that Jesus did not die. Oh, his body shuttered and he collapsed on the cross. His body certainly did die, but the spirit that was the real Jesus did not die. Jesus and his body are not the same.
At that moment I knew that his classroom lesson was finished. Jesus merely dropped his body like a person dropping a garment off his shoulder. This part of his demonstration was over. Yet, I was convinced that the real Jesus did not die. My spear and the cross had absolutely no affect on the Love that was present within Jesus.